Category: Golliwogg

Accomplishment: Taking the “lazy shiftless negro” to a mass scale. The name of this movement should be “Hands out Across America”.

I will admit that even I was initially enamored with this idea quite a few years ago. But like any of the ideals of our youth they just don’t hold up to further scrutiny. And I, Pitch Blaque, am well aware of the torrent of outrage this nomination might cause, but I can take it. Bring the Hate.

There were innumerable souls that perished under the dark years of slavery in this country. There is a trail of blood that stretches through out the Caribbean and across the Atlantic. The pain and suffering is immeasurable. Yet some Negros have taken it upon themselves to put a price tag on those dark days of our history. These are educated and intelligent African Americans, prominent members of society collectively prostrate at their true masters feet groveling for a hand out. Forever victim.

Humor me, how exactly does one qualify as a recipient of Slavery Reparations? How does one prove historical blackness? How does one prove blackness? Should we put it in a bucket, carry it to our City Halls and have it weighed? Who will make the scale? Who does not qualify? Do the slaves on plantations where there were Black Masters qualify? Do the Black families of Black Masters that are still prospering off of the dark secrets of the past still qualify? If so how? What of the families of Black Overseers? What of the children of abolitionist who aided slaves seeking freedom in the north? Don’t they deserve something for the risk?

The enormous attack that AIDS and drugs alone represent to this generation of African Americans is meaningless to this vacuous group. They have chosen to throw their time, effort, money and power behind the giant welfare check in the sky. That’s just like Negros; if one must work, work toward not working.

Dance boy! Dance! We might just cut you some o’ dis hog …

Okay! Okay! Okay! No need to make further submissions for this gent. We heard you, all of you. This is one special nominee that we must thank for his exceptional work. Because if there was no Flavor Flav there would be no Golliwoggz Blog! We were convinced after a few episodes of Flavor of Loves’ first season that surely this show would be cancelled by an outcry from the community. But No! We were so incensed by these advance acts of coonery and jigging, that we almost missed the mammery and jezebel infractions. This is neo-coonery at it’s finest. We created this blog for just such infarctions. You are killing us! No seriously, you are killing us.

What can we say Flavor Flav has taken it to a new level. He has set the bar. Giving truth to one of my personal favorite sayings,” For every Chuck D, there is a Flavor Flav.”

Boogy Boo Negro! Boogy Boo.

This is long overdue! The executives at B.E.T. have been consistent in providing a worldwide stage for new and unusually innovative forms of coonery. Under the brilliant business strategies of Robert Johnson, the impact that this institution has had on the multiple generations of viewers is completely staggering. With the installation of Debra Lee assuming the helm of this behemoth, we are guaranteed more of the same.

Another serving of Cooning, tomfoolery and shenanigans anyone? I wonder if Debra will finally get to shake that ass? Nah, she’ll probably just continue to pimp out her little sisters. Keep up the great work.

Us just shakin’ ova here fo’ massa VIACOM!

We here at Golliwogg.wordpress.com wish to bring to light the mass celebration of all manner of golliwogging and coonery. At one point in the history of this great country there existed no coons, no toms, no mammies and nary a nigger. There were just Men and Women of African decent living their lives and attempting to raise their children under the most abysmal of conditions and circumstance. The words, the insults, however, were given birth and became popular during this period of morally corrupt dehumanization. That is until now. Now these images are being personified on a grand level; over our air waves, through our radios and televisions. And the perpetrators are no longer the powerless, hapless victim of some inscrutable tyrant. These people are free-willed individuals joyfully giving life the racial epithet of the past without regard to the impact that is made on society as a whole. And most appalling of all, these are African Americans fulfilling the prophecy of slave masters, anti-abolitionists of the past. In the memory of the innumerable souls that gave all that we may view, be viewed, respect, be respected, attribute and be attributed all of mankind as equals. We dedicate this site.